I’m not exactly sure if this is really how it works, but here I am in the UK and it is absolutely freezing, the sky is grey, its windy and to top it all it’s threatening to snow, at the moment it’s sheeting, which is only a step away from the white stuff, which I am sure is about to start soon.
I arrived here a little overweight, partly due to overeating at Christmas and not loosing it, but mainly due to stuffing my face during the week before my flight, going totally crazy on the day of the flight and eating everything I could get my hands on. Unfortunately one way of showing love in our family is to make sure that the object of your affection is well fed, so since arriving here three days ago I have been eating heartily, not only three full meals a day, but also coffee breaks, accompanied by cake, tea breaks accompanied toast, chocolate bunnies and huge slices of birthday cake late at night just before we go to sleep, which means I have absolutely no chance of digesting it at all, so, I sleep on it, then in the morning it’s still there, only now it’s consolidated itself into a huge lump of fat, which has attached itself to my waist. So there it sits, my jeans try their best to meet in order for me to do them up, but they fail, my only saving grace is the stretchy pair of jeans I threw into my suitcase at the last moment, not attractive, but they reach around my waist at least. It’s not that I don’t love all the food, I do, and there lies the problem, I have no willpower, not do I want any, I, curly wurlies, curry, pate and toast, fish and chips, bourbon biscuits and pork pies, no matter the order they arrive in, they all get gobbled up almost before they escape from their bags.
I have been hoping that I will feel warmer by consuming more food, but to date I have no proof, I am beginning to think that the only way I will feel warmer by eating is to consume enough food to place a six-inch layer of fat around my bones. This I hasten to add is not going to happen. As from tomorrow, I am trying a new ploy, a totally different tack, I am going to try shopping at stores that are a long way from each other and running from one to the other, however, I think the only way I am going to lose the weight I have so far accumulated on this short trip, is to run from vegetable shop to vegetable shop, praying that they do not have any toffee apples for sale.